Sick Children

I know that Tay is going to be 2 in two months, but I still feel horrible about the way he was treated when he first entered the world. I feel bad that I was not informed of his condition sooner. He had a collapsed lung for almost 18 hrs before I found out. No wonder the poor little guy gave up trying to breath on his own after he was life flighted. I have now come to the conclusion that not only was their neglect on the hospitals side, but partial neglect on my own side as a parent!
When you have a child that is sick you feel like you are the only person in the world this is happening to. You have to be strong for anyone that this is affecting, becuase if they see you break down they will too. It still hurts to know my little guy was in so much pain. It is great that people listen to me gab and gab about it, but that is the therapy I need. I am so thankful that my neighbors, family, co-workers,and nurses were there that day to keep me cool. In talking with many mothers I have realized there are a lot of children born with some sort of medical problem. Whether is is a collapsed lung, not breathing, a kidney, a blockage in an intestine the list goes on and on. We as women are very strong to be mothers. It was very hard to be so strong and act like nothing was wrong. It never crossed my mind that if Tay didn't get better I would have to choose to take him off life support. I think women are very strong and we are what holds the family together in bad and good times. It is never easy to have a sick child. Our hearts hurt that we can not take away the pain and the problem. It is a blessing our hearts are full of love. We are able to give it to everyone that needs it, and who may be affected by the problem. In the end no one knows what we went through. I think there are a lot of hurting mothers out there that push the bad thoughts, the what ifs, and the I didn't knows to the back of their minds and continue on with life. I know my feelings will never go away. They will always be with me, they will always hurt. Looking forward i know my son is healthy and is here for the long run, but who said it would be easy? As for the dad's that may have had an opposite encounter with a sick child.....I know you know how we feel now.

Creativity

i have had a major house fixing bug. I have decided instead of closet doors that the kids can slam, they are both going to get beautiful curtains. I have also been in the process of re-finishing Dave's old dresser to go in Tay's room. I want to also re-paint Kels' room and get her new bedding. I am sure My husband is wondering what kind of crazy bug has gotten in to me. I just needed the weather to hold out a bit longer so I could have started to transformation to the basement! But Mothernature made it snow that weekend! I also have been wanting to re-cover my sofa. I think I am going to need lots of help with that. It is a sectional, and I would like to make the back flat and put big fluffy pillows on it instead. Hey maybe when we open it up we will find Dave's wedding ring. Unless it is in the shopvac. Yikes! I have also been looking up easy and inexpensive ways to cook things. For example I started cooking popcorn kernals in a brown paper lunch bag. It works. Dave and I had our doubts, but then when we heard the first pop it was so exciting. I also had to think of the great benefits of not consuming the preservatives that are in traditional microwave popcorn. I am going to try and cook some black beans tonight too. I have tried to cook them in the past however the shells never softened and they were not good at all. I have set a few new goals for myself this year. I want to be a healthier more active person. Being a mom and working full time is a busy day. In the past I have found myself drained with no energy and have been a big couch potato. My other goal is to make easy home improvements. I have major plans for our yard this year. We have some repairs to do from our Giant windstorm, but once those are done I am hoping that the changes make the yard a nice place for the kids to play. I think the beginning of my projects will be a wonderful fun investment in my families happiness and future! I hope everyone has a great and wonderful 2012!